Insight for Living Australia's Blog

Next week we’ll celebrate Valentine’s Day once again. Now, while I’m a bit of a romantic, I’ve never tried to ‘find’ romance on this day because it’s something Cornelia and I are ever-mindful of. We start the day with a cuddle and a kiss and that’s the way we go to sleep. I admit to being very spoilt, as Cornelia has for nearly 28 years stood on the front porch and waved me goodbye as I leave for work.

Every year of February 14th you’ll see the local florist blossom with red roses in preparation for the stampede of men, most of who are on their annual pilgrimage to show their wives, partners and girlfriends that they really do care.

For some couples it’s too little,  too late. Just this week I learned that four more marriages in my street have crashed and burned. This continual downward spiral in relationships has reached epidemic proportions in our society, where there are no solutions or antidotes to impede this destruction.

Back in 2007 (1) the vast majority of Australians believed that their ‘try before you buy’ and ‘you have to make sure you’re compatible’ philosophies would be the answer to true, life-long love. Sadly though, Australia still ranks in the top six world-wide for the highest divorce rates.

If living together is not the answer to true love, then what is?

Throughout my 28 year journey with Cornelia I’ve come to understand that there are two important elements for creating a strong marriage.

The first element focuses us on unity.

Just before we were married in 1983 we were given a piece of wisdom from a long married couple in their seventies. The counsel was based on Genesis 2: 24, where we are told that … “a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Genesis 2: 24 NIV (emphasis added)

How true it is that those who have strong marriages have a oneness about them. As an old aunt said, remember that ‘we’ comes before ‘I’ in wedding. Where two are entwined together as one, their strength is multiplied. Acting and thinking in concert is not easy and takes a lot of commitment, give and take. Having a mindset of putting the other first is Christ-like and the basis on which this oneness grows.

The second lesson must follow the first; to understand that marriage has seasons.

Let me warn you first that this does not mean that you only experience one of each of the seasons of marriage. In fact the climate of marriage is characterised by us moving from one season to another and back again.  A strong marriage learns from each season and prepares the couple for the next.

Summer is the hot season in your marriage. It’s the time of great emotion, physically it’s exhausting and it’s wonderfully passionate. That’s the way God intended it to be. Just read the book Song of Solomon and you will see that passion should be a key part of your relationship. It’s during your summer marriage that you explore new things together, learning and stretching yourselves. It’s a time to release your passions, to focus on a vision for the future and begin laying the foundations for a life of God’s purposes.

Autumn heralds a new time when your relationship is buffeted by children or changed circumstances. Work pressures build up and finding time together is more difficult. And while many homes become afflicted with the swinging door syndrome, it is in these times that your family’s relationship with Christ should be strongly nurtured. As you experience the kaleidoscope of colours in your relationship, it is the extent to which Christ is given centre stage in your relationship that will provide you with the resilience you need when times are tough.

Winter is inevitable. In marriage there are times when you sense a loss of intimacy, when you seem to do nothing more than chase your tail, or your world becomes an isolated island in a social landscape. Although this is the most difficult of seasons it’s also the season that gives us the greatest opportunities to use the gift of oneness that God gave us.

Strong marriages are characterised by one person helping the other during these times. Jesus sent his disciples out in twos for this very reason. When one is down, the other supports. It’s a simple concept and very effective, but requires a joint commitment.

For a moment think of the rings of growth on a tree. The dense rings that grow during winter will define the strength of the tree. With guidance from God’s Word, and a willingness from both of you, your winter periods can give your marriage a much stronger base from which to grow.

Spring is the time of new beginnings. When we start to feel the warmth of summer approaching, we are revitalised and refreshed. And while the memories of tough times might linger, it is the promise of a new day and new opportunities that causes us to come out of our cocoons, shedding the dreary and becoming all that the Lord has predetermined us to be. For many marriages the rut of winter has become the grave. For those who have welcomed Spring together, their love will flourish and the impact of their relationship will pollinate others.

Marriage is the most important union on earth, given by God for His glory. But, being human, we know that relationships don’t always work this simply.

When I’ve met with troubled couples over the years I’ve found that the oneness with which they started in marriage has been broken. Often their combined commitment to work through the seasons of marriage has been eroded for a range of reasons.

Be strong, encourage and support one another. Remember the WE in wedding, and have fun on the journey. Your enjoyment is your God’s pleasure.

And . . . by the way . . . Chuck Swindoll’s teaching series on marriage begins on February 17th. It’s called Strike the Original Match. You can download it for free via podcast or listen on our website.

Peter Tyrrell

1   http://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/Lookup/3306.0.55.001

Recently I was talking with a friend of mine who lives in Colorado Springs, USA, and he told me of an incident he encountered when he visited his local ‘gas station’ to purchase fuel. On paying his bill the attendant gave the traditional greeting ‘Happy Holidays.’

John is ever watchful for opportunities to challenge modern culture so he asked the attendant why he spoke of the holiday, rather than Christmas. To John’s surprise the attendant told him that he used to say Merry Christmas until he was berated for using this non-inclusive term.

John pressed the attendant for more information and was surprised by how his preferred greeting at Christmas-time had been changed through the pressure of a vocal minority. During their ensuing discussion John encouraged him to speak his mind and not allow his values to be closeted by those who wish to deny that Jesus Christ ever existed.

As they parted, with passion in his voice, John said, “Merry Christmas.” The attendant echoed, “Merry Christmas.”

When Paul spoke to the developing church in Corinth he knew they faced a culture that was significantly different to values they held. The people of this large town were immoral, rich and influential and yet the new church had been established there to present the gospel of Jesus Christ and to lead them into spiritual and moral renewal. In 1 Corinthians 9 and 10, Paul shows us how to undertake our roles as disciples of Jesus Christ while living in a culture that openly rejects Christian values – probably very similar to what we experience in 2012.

1.         Be visible

“I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some.” (1 Cor 9-22)

Paul encourages us to interact with, and relate to, our culture. He encourages us to be ‘where the action is’ so we will understand the people, and have opportunities to present God’s principles and precepts as alternatives. The Lord wants us to use our resources and skills in developing His kingdom, rather than secreting them away.

2.         Be focussed on what you are trying to achieve

“Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. (1 Cor 9:26)

As you look at the year ahead do you have an understanding of the ministry that the Lord has for you? Each of us has a calling but the difference between those who will achieve, and those who won’t, will be the level of focus they have. be specific in your prayers. If you want to speak more openly of your faith…pray for boldness. Maybe you want to lead others to a decision for Christ…pray for discernment and courage. And, if you want to see your family grow spiritually stronger…pray for spiritual guidance.

3.         Prepare yourself

“Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training.” 1 Cor 9:25

Imagine starting a race without any training. Your muscles are weak, you have little lung capacity and you have no idea of a winning strategy. You know little of your opponents and you have never come first in a race before in your life. What hope do you have?

As you prepare yourself to go into your world reflect on how well you are prepared with the armour of God that Paul describes in Ephesians 6: 11-18.

4.         Maintain your Christ-like character

“Do not be idolaters…… We should not commit sexual immorality….We should not test the Lord.” (1 Cor 10: 7-10)

Interacting with a decadent society has its dangers. I’m sure you know of people who begin walking closely with the Lord, yet slowly become consumed by the very culture they were trying to impact. Consider an accountability partner. Someone you respect and would be willing to share openly with. Parents, pastors, singles, teenagers, all need someone they trust so they can share their difficulties and are willing to be asked tough questions about their character.

5.         Maintain your faith in Christ

“And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.” (1 Cor 10:13)

For me this verse has been one of the most important verses in the Bible. I know that no matter how tough life becomes, the Lord will only give me as much as I can take. When you undertake the Lord’s ministry, and as you navigate through life’s rocky roads, cling to this promise and maintain your faith in it

6.         Remain humble

“For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.” (1 Cor 10:33)

Finally, remember that whatever you undertake in 2012, the focus should be on the outcomes the Lord has already planned for you. He knows the lives He wants you to impact during this coming year but you need to seek the right path.

Even though our Australian culture is becoming more difficult for Christians, the Lord will provide opportunities for you to tell others about Him. With the leading of the Holy Spirit, God’s armour, and Paul’s wisdom, the year ahead should be an exciting one.

Peter

A few years back the final months of the year had been difficult for a number of reasons: family medical crises, and the ongoing impact of the global economic crisis on the ministry had caused an unusual amount of stress. My mind was so full that, at times, I felt as though I were the rope in a tug-of-war between two football teams.

Perhaps you can understand why I’d been hanging out for Christmas—a chance to take a break and spend time with those I wanted to be with, a chance to unwind and escape the daily pressures.

So when one of my daughters announced that she’d invited a friend to share Christmas lunch with us, my idyllic illusion was shattered. I’d already asked two of my friends (both divorced), but for some reason I just snapped at the thought of a relative stranger joining us.

Christmas is a time when we celebrate the coming of Christ, the Saviour. It’s the season when we speak of PEACE, JOY and LOVE. And, as Christians, we should lead the world in demonstrating these qualities. Well, not one of those qualities was evident in my response that night. Oh, I had no problem providing valid reasons to justify my stance; but the next morning, I knew that I had been unreasonable and that my response had been wrong.

In the book of Hebrews (13:2), the writer urges us, “Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.”

Journey with me back to Bethlehem on that first Christmas. Joseph and his heavily pregnant wife Mary went from place to place in Bethlehem seeking somewhere to rest, but they were repeatedly turned away. Imagine for a moment the innkeeper and what might have happened if he’d been out of sorts that night and rejected Joseph’s request.

Surely the innkeeper had no idea that a baby would be born that very night, or that shepherds and wise men would come to his inn to worship and adore this precious new life. Importantly, the innkeeper’s motives were noble. Rather than focusing on what he could get out of the situation—or what was convenient and comfortable—he showed sympathy for the plight of this young couple. And, in doing so, he unwittingly provided the birthplace for not just an angel, but the King of Kings!

The writer of Hebrews also challenges us to put ourselves in the shoes of others. How else can we empathise with them? As we think of and pray for those in prison during Christmas, let’s place ourselves in the adjacent cell. How does it feel? What are their needs? How can we best pray for them? And what about the lonely young woman, estranged from her family and suffering from depression—what does she need most this Christmas?

That is where I went astray. I let the pressures of the moment cloud my thinking. Instead of seeing this invitation as a God-given opportunity to provide a family Christmas to someone in need, I was too concerned with the comfort and convenience of my own little world.

That Christmas was one of the best we’ve had as three more joined in the Tyrrell family celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, our Messiah.  I’ve learned a lesson: there’s now always room in my inn.

As followers of Christ, we should be ready to welcome others into our homes at every opportunity. It is in these times that we can spread the PEACE, JOY and LOVE that can only be experienced through Jesus.

And you never know…you might just share your Christmas lunch with an angel.

In September 2010 my wife, Cornelia, travelled to Germany to visit her ancestral home, taking our daughter, Carla, so she could gain some cultural insights into her European heritage. After visiting Cuxhaven, on the North Sea, they joined a tour that would allow them to circumnavigate the country, providing a taste of the various cultures that define each unique region.

When the tour group visited Cologne (Köln) they made the obligatory visit to the World Heritage listed, Saints Peter and Mary Cathedral, once the tallest building in the world and still boasting the world’s largest church façade.

On Cornelia’s and Carla’s return to Australia, I was fascinated with a picture they’d taken there of The Shrine of the Three Kings (Dreikönigsschrein).

Shrine of Three Kings (Cologne Cathedral, Germany)

This golden, and highly decorated, triple sarcophagus can be found behind the main altar of the church. Contained within it is said to be the bones of The Three Kings, or Wise Men, from the Biblical narrative of Jesus’ birth found in Matthew 2:1–12.

The story of the Magi has been one that has captured our imagination, ever since it was first told in Matthew’s gospel, written 40 or so years after Jesus’ death.

Each year at Christmas we sing that beautiful 1857 carol by Rev. John Henry Hopkins, ‘We Three Kings of Orient Are’ as a reminder of the regal visit to Jesus by those who knew, through scripture, to look for the one who’d be the King of Kings.

“For to us a child is born,

to us a son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called

Wonderful Counselor, n Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of his government and peace

there will be no end.

He will reign on David’s throne

and over his kingdom,

establishing and upholding it

with justice and righteousness

from that time on and forever.

The zeal of the LORD Almighty

will accomplish this.” (Isaiah 9:6-7 NIV)

Creating a timeless version of this story in song is one thing, but, immortalizing the story’s participants, The Three Wise Men, is another.

The inherent problem with such a monument as The Shrine of the Three Kings, comes from the importance many place on it. This is true for many of the religious relics gathered from the Holy Land over the centuries. Even in Jerusalem, when you visit the Via Dolorosa, (Latin for The Way of Grief), many pilgrims touch the walls believing they may gain some great blessing from touching a place where Jesus may have placed his hand.

No place, or thing, or person, can bring you closer to God but you.

Jesus was born as a human baby, and lived on this earth to show that there is no intermediary between Him and us. It is only through Him that we can go to the Father.

“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well.’” John 14:6-7 NIV

When it comes to the Magi’s visit to the lowly stable, Biblical scholars cannot even agree on how many were in their party. Many assume there were three because scripture records, “Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh.” (Matthew 2:11b). Three gifts, three wise men.

The timing of the visit is also in contestation, with some suggesting it may have been up to two years after Jesus’ birth before The Three Wise Men arrived in Bethlehem. This thought comes from the fact that Herod had met with the Magi before they arrived in Bethlehem, at which time they told him of the timing of the star that led them. (Matthew 2:7). Some believe it was these dates that led Herod to order the execution of all babies up to two years of age.

While much has been researched and written about these Three Wise Men, with a great deal of conjecture coloring the traditional story, there is one thing we know for certain; that Magi, who were religious and political advisors to the regal courts of the east, knew of the impending birth of a child that was the Christ, foretold by ancient prophets. They waited on God to give them a sign that would lead them to him, and they were prepared to go humbly to him in adoration.

This is the fundamental message we gain from the Magi’s presence in Bethlehem.

One writer from gotquestions.org summarized The Three Wise Men  this way:[1]

“So, the magi were men who:

1)       read and believed God’s Word,

2)        sought Jesus,

3)        recognized the worth of Christ,

4)        humbled themselves to worship Jesus, and

5)        obeyed God rather than man. They were truly wise men!”

The understanding this writer has gleaned from Matthew’s gospel is excellent. It doesn’t embellish the facts, nor is it a gaudy representation of the importance of The Three Wise Men. It doesn’t elevate the worldly positions of Jesus’ visitors from the Orient but clearly shows that The Three Wise Men’s mission was focused on giving adoration to the long awaited Messiah. The Magi were led there because their knowledge of God’s Word prepared them for this event, and they remained ever watchful for the sign that would take them on their journey.

In the Old Testament, the Israelites erected stones of remembrance as memorials to what the Lord had done. They drew people in, begging the question, “What happened here?” The Shrine of the Three Kings should be regarded in the same manner. Rather than being a place where people feel closer to those who God might have used, we should stop and consider the faith that compelled these noblemen to travel over 1200 kilometres, through a hostile land, in order to pay homage to the baby Jesus.

My prayer for you this Christmas is that you will keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, that you may grow in your knowledge and commitment to your Saviour, as shown by The Three Wise Men.

Merry Christmas.

Peter

We Three Kings

We three kings of Orient are

Bearing gifts we traverse afar

Field and fountain, moor and mountain

Following yonder star

O Star of wonder, star of night

Star with royal beauty bright

Westward leading, still proceeding

Guide us to thy Perfect Light

Born a King on Bethlehem’s plain

Gold I bring to crown Him again

King forever, ceasing never

Over us all to rein

O Star of wonder, star of night

Star with royal beauty bright

Westward leading, still proceeding

Guide us to Thy perfect light

Frankincense to offer have I

Incense owns a Deity nigh

Pray’r and praising, all men raising

Worship Him, God most high

O Star of wonder, star of night

Star with royal beauty bright

Westward leading, still proceeding

Guide us to Thy perfect light

Myrrh is mine, its bitter perfume

Breathes of life of gathering gloom

Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying

Sealed in the stone-cold tomb

O Star of wonder, star of night

Star with royal beauty bright

Westward leading, still proceeding

Guide us to Thy perfect light

Glorious now behold Him arise

King and God and Sacrifice

Alleluia, Alleluia

Earth to heav’n replies

O Star of wonder, star of night

Star with royal beauty bright

Westward leading, still proceeding

Guide us to Thy perfect light

Music and words by Rev. John Henry Hopkins, 1857

Last weekend my wife, Cornelia, and I had the privilege of taking my brother, Paul, and his wife, Susan, down to Inverloch in Victoria for the first weekend in their new pop-top caravan. Cornelia and I had purchased one just before Christmas 2010, and so we took the opportunity to take them to a beautiful part of God’s earth and show them the ropes.

While we’ve all been camping since we were quite young, towing a hard-shelled house, somewhat like a tortoise, is a unique experience. Saturday’s wild weather, and tropical like downpour, cemented our decision to have accommodation that would withstand nature’s elements.

As is customary when we camp (OK, you probably wouldn’t class us as campers now!) we like to chat to others who also like the outdoor life. There’s nothing like striking up a conversation with someone you’ve never met before, and never will again, on topics you’d normally not get into even with family and friends. On this occasion, on route to the toilet block, we stopped to chat to a couple around our age.

Now, you may remember that my brother Paul recently had major surgery for bowel cancer. He’s 5 weeks into his recovery. Back in 2003, just as I joined Insight for Living, I had surgery for bowel cancer too. Over the past 8 years we’ve discovered that our family has a genetic mutation that makes us receptive to a range of cancers. We’re ever mindful of this lurking threat.

As we started to talk with Matt we discovered that he’s recovering from high stage 3 bowel cancel. Matts’s been down the road of chemotherapy and has found it quite tough. I don’t like his odds.

As the conversation continued, and we got talking about life and what it means, it became evident that there are two ways to look at life. There are those who live their lives focused on themselves and those who give of themselves to others.

The reason I focused on this contrast was that Matt and his wife are now travelling Australia, forsaking family and friends, living every second they can to the fullest. Sounds ideal doesn’t it? They dote over each other and love spending time together in a mutually close and supportive relationship. It’s great to meet a couple so much in love.

While on the surface such a lifestyle could make you envious, it’s as though Matt and his wife are marking time, waiting for the fatal close of this chapter. I understand what they’re doing and why they need to.

In a similar way our weekends away provide us with moments of respite from the pressures of life. While we enjoy spending every moment we can in the great outdoors with our daughters, family and friends, I couldn’t imagine life being nothing more than just satisfying my five senses. Life is more than that. It has to have balance.

Some people think of good living as the enjoyment of God’s natural gifts and while this is true, it’s only one of the dimensions. We also have the spiritual context in which we develop our relationship with God, the Giver of life. Lastly, good living is attained when we add value to the world around us, by making an impact so it’s a better place because we were here. This impact is your gift to the world.

Your contribution may come through the work you do, or the people you lead. Paul has been involved in Scouts for the past 20 years, giving tirelessly so that young boys, and now girls, can learn self reliance, respect, technical and life skills, and importantly, how to be productive team members. The list is extensive.

Good living is all about gracious giving, not the financial type, but of giving yourself in the service of others.

The Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi captures the essence of a life that is bountiful, where the joy comes from the giving, not the getting. Note how the words focus on what you bring into the lives of others not what you get from them.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love.

Where there is injury, pardon.

Where there is doubt, faith.

Where there is despair, hope.

Where there is darkness, light.

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

As Cornelia and I have talked about death over the years, a topic that cannot be shied away from in our family, we’ve come to realise that the only thing of worth we truly pass on is the impact we’ve had on others. If we’ve made a difference in the lives of others, and have enriched their lives through us being here on earth, then our lives have been good ones.

As Christians, we hope that our lives have pointed others to the perfect model of humanity, Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

If you’re facing hard times like Matt and his wife, don’t look for a place to hide but find ways in which you can live a balanced life. By all means plan to get out and enjoy God’s creation, but then come back and join humanity, get involved with others and give of yourself. You’ll feel so much better and the world will look a much better place.

And remember . . . Living is Giving.

Peter

“Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life–in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.” (Philippians 2: 14-16 NIV)

Over the years we’ve seen three of our capital cities featured in the Top 10 of the World’s Most Liveable Cities. Melbourne was given the highest honour on this list in 2011. The Economist Group that develops this list says[1] these cities are “ideal destinations thanks to a widespread availability of goods and services, low personal risk and an effective infrastructure.”

The grandeur of Australia, the complex diversity of our culture, and the freedoms we all experience, provide an idyllic place in which to live, love and work. In September 2010, as I studied photographs submitted by our listeners for the annual calendar, I could see why they felt the presence of the Lord in the scenes they had captured.

Just before Christmas last year, the mother of a Korean friend was visiting from Seoul to join in family celebrations.

One evening, just after dinner at dusk, I was summoned in Korean with great excitement. I had no idea what Umma (mum) was saying but she stood on the back deck pointing at the moon. I asked Jee Hea what the commotion was about. To my surprise Umma rarely gets to see the moon as clearly as she can here in Melbourne. In her hometown the constant haze, mixed with Seoul’s abundant lights, makes it virtually impossible to see the moon we take for granted. They can only do so by making an intentional journey far out into the country.

Looking at the moon wasn’t such a big deal, but the realization that many people in the world have their view obscured by pollution struck a chord with me. I couldn’t help but see the parallel to the state of the spiritual world that we are leaving to our children.

We have to take drastic steps to save our environment for the future, but our most important inheritance, that of our faith in Christ, is being eroded and dulled before our eyes, without hardly a challenge. The line between being ‘in the world’ and ‘of the world’ seems to have shrunk to almost a hairline in width, rather than the chasm that should show Christians as being fundamentally different.

Paul says we should be ‘children of God without fault’ which is in stark contrast to being part of a ‘crooked and depraved generation.’ (Philippians 2:14)

Just like the bright moon Umma gazed at, as though for the first time late last year, Paul gives us a picture where Christians “shine like stars in the universe.” (Philippians 2:15). This is a beautiful metaphor for how the world should see us. But do they? Or have we let the pollution of the world come between us.

Paul had a few thoughts worth considering:

1. Be like-minded with your Christian brothers and sisters (Philippians 2:2).  Have the same love for Christ and each other. Remember those times when your faith was on fire and you wanted everyone to know about Jesus Christ. Those building times were inspirational because you worked together with a single purpose and a can-do spirit of cooperation.
2. Be humble and focus on what ‘WE’ will achieve. (Philippians 2:3-4). Each of us is called by God to contribute to the growth of His Kingdom, not ours. And while it is important to know and use our giftings, we are warned of putting ourselves onto any pedestal from which we might fall.
3. Be open to how God will use you. (Philippians 2:13). We’ve all heard of the ‘ME’ generation. And while we attribute this to Generation Y, it takes but a few seconds when you are out shopping, or watching the TV, to realise that ME is the most important person today. To be a shining star requires us to give God permission to ‘work in [us] you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” This thinking is counter culture, but submission to God’s will is the only way for us to show others what we’re really made of.
4. Present your best side. (Philippians 2:14-15). Life is full of ups and downs but we need to be in control of our feelings and emotions. Pauls tells us not to complain or argue as this gives the wrong message and diminishes our ‘Godly’ character traits in front of others. When others look at us they should see Christ in the way we interact with the world, and see God’s work changing us from within.

Paul’s exhortation to the church at Philippi wasn’t just about being good people, or about presenting a façade of ‘niceness’. We are to live the Word within our world, displaying the traits that mark us as followers of Christ. Paul says that when we “hold out the word of life.” (v16), those around us will see us as bright, attractive, mesmerizing, stars.

A few years ago I was faced with a dilemma.

There was this guy who was travelling the world telling his story in churches. It was a wonderful tale, full of intrigue and adventure. It was so good that it would have made an excellent plot for a movie.

Every time he spoke, those who listened would sit as quiet as church mice, lapping up every syllable as it took them on a journey from evil to salvation. People were moved to tears as the emotion of the moment came to a crescendo. At the conclusion of his message, many decided for the first time to acknowledge Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour . . . to become a Christian.

I was so captivated by this intense story, I even bought the cassette tape myself.

But, one day while I was speaking to a group of colleagues, I became aware that rumours were circulating that this guy was a fraud; that the story was made up. I searched the Internet and spoke with those who knew about these things better than I, and to my dismay I discovered the story was nothing but fiction. I was so disappointed, and maybe even a little angry, at his deception.

One Monday morning a few years later, one of my staff (not from Insight for Living Australia), came into our morning devotions on cloud 9. She was physically and emotionally moved by an event that occurred during the Sunday service at her church. Yes, you guessed it, their visiting speaker was the man who shared his story across the globe.

She told of her experience on the previous day, recounting the story and the truly amazing blessings she, and many others, had received. The blessings were real and significant.

For me though, it left me with a dilemma. What do I do? Do I tell her ‘the truth’ about this guy and shatter her experience, or do I let it go so the euphoria of the moment can last?

Before doing anything I spoke with my colleagues and went straight to God’s Word. That’s the best place to start. The burning question was whether good can come from a lie. Our immediate response was NO! But God, as we know, doesn’t always work in the realm our brains do. This is the verse I was led to.

“And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear. It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.” Philippians 1:14-18 (NIV)

Wow! That was unexpected.

Here Paul provides us with a glimpse of the issues he himself faced in the early days of the church. People were preaching the gospel with false motives but from it came good. The last line of this passage is so important, “But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.”

The issue I had to contend with was whether this travelling storyteller was speaking the truths of scripture, wrapped in a lie, or whether he was teaching heresy.

The good news is that his message was for all sinners, all of us, that we can have salvation in Christ. He didn’t teach theology or doctrine, just a simple message that, regardless of your circumstances, you can choose to follow Jesus, who is our guide and protector.

Having understood what Paul was saying in the passage above, and after prayer, two of us sat my staff member down and presented her both the facts, and the verse from Philippians. She was understandably upset, but she could see that the blessings themselves were valid because Christ was preached, rather than a man exalted.

Controversy still exists over this travelling storyteller and whether he’s legitimate or not. Only God, and he, know.

The main lesson I’ve learnt from this experience is that we have to be careful about being too judgmental of the way the gospel is presented. Sure, some preachers and teachers might be self serving, or the way they go about presenting Christ might not be as we think it should be done, but in the end the test is whether or not Christ is being preached.

When Christ is being preached, in whatever manner, we should all rejoice.

Peter

“How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!

How much more pleasing is your love than wine,

and the fragrance of your perfume than any spice!

Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride;

milk and honey are under your tongue.

The fragrance of your garments is like that of Lebanon.

You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride;

you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain.”

Song of Songs 4:10-12 NIV

King Solomon knew how to ignite the passions of his bride. Listen to the words above, “How much more pleasing is your love than wine…” and “You are a garden locked up…” What beautiful words to express to your loved one.

In the Song of Songs, King Solomon, the Lover, and his bride, the Beloved, express open and passionate love for each with sincerity and intimacy. While this intimate, Holy Spirit inspired love letter may seem a bit too raunchy for some, it takes us on a journey from dating to marriage. It provides inspiration for a couple towards a lifetime of romance and devotion. Romance is not about sex. It is all of those little things that a man and woman do for each other that continue to stoke the fire in a relationship.

Do you remember the time when you started dating? I’m sure a small smile will break out on your face when you remember the meals you shared together in quiet places, the emails or text messages you sent, maybe even a letter or two, the late night telephone calls, or the drive across town just to spend five minutes together. Those were the first heady days of romance. Ah, love!

Here are some ideas from one who has been ecstatically married for 28 years, that might be useful in maintaining the romantic fire in your relationship.

Pay attention to each other

The most captivating aspect of King Solomon’s love letter is the extent of their unrestrained love and affection for each other. As you read the text you know that Solomon and his bride had their eyes fixed squarely on each other. How else would they have known each other’s most intimate of qualities?

But don’t leave it there. Use that knowledge to show your affection in as many ways as possible. By simply reflecting these qualities you are affirming each other, building your partner’s self-esteem, and thereby growing your relationship.

Listen to the signals

Over the years I’ve met with many guys who are on the brink of divorce or separation and the most common problem is that they had no idea there was an issue.

In most relationships we tend to say things that highlight what we like and don’t like. But all too often we’re so busy with work, and what’s happening in the family, that these small comments are missed, and worse still, dismissed.  Listen for those often-incidental comments and take advantage of them. Use them to give pleasure and, if need be, to prevent a crack forming in the relationship.

Plan time together

There is nothing more romantic than being surprised by your loved one. A surprise communicates that you have spent time thinking about their likes and dislikes. It shows that you have planned something just for them, not for the kids or anyone else, just them.  Surprises don’t just happen; they require a conscious decision to put that person in the front of your mind.

Early in our marriage it was Cornelia’s birthday and money was exceptionally tight. We didn’t have enough for a big present so I considered what she’d value the most. It was easy…she wanted time with me. So, on her birthday, I prepared for work as normal, in suit and tie and headed off. But instead of going into the office in St Kilda Rd, Melbourne, I went to Safeway in Ferntree Gully and bought a bright red rosette, the kind you put on a present. I turned up at the front door of our home, with the rosette stuck on my head. As she opened the door I said that my present was ‘me for a day.’ She thought it was cute. The only problem was that I’d considered many ‘enjoyable’ options, but she chose to take me window-shopping!! Doh! A labour of love!

We still look back at that time, and many others, as important moments in the development of our relationship. Our best times have had nothing to do with money but about being together . . . wherever and whenever we can.

Romance is important for every relationship, from the moment you start dating until you are parted by death. This wonderful Old Testament book, Song of Songs, provides you with examples of intimacy that cover the three seasons of a husband-wife relationship.

1. romantic courtship (Chapters 1:2-3:5),
2. the wedding (3:6-5:1)
3. married life (5:2-8:14).

Your marriage is like a fire, if you don’t tend to it, it will die down, if you add fuel (romance), it will blaze away brightly. Why not set aside some time to read Song of Songs together.

Peter

Three weeks ago my wife and I left Melbourne for a well-earned holiday to the Sapphire Coast in southeast New South Wales. I’d been preparing for some time as I like to set dates in advance as a way of giving my brain a target to aim for, primarily as a stress relief.

From Day 2, it all went pear shaped as our family back home was hit by one health disaster after another. My only way of describing this was that we were taken on a ‘Job’ experience. Bang, bang, bang… the calamities were unrelenting.

On our 8th day away, and just as we were leaving the caravan park for our next destination, we received a telephone call that my brother, Paul, was diagnosed with the genetic bowel cancer our family contends with. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back, so we turned for home, sad and upset, but wanting to be there with him and the rest of our family.

The following Wednesday was like no other, as we had to attend a funeral, at the very time Paul’s tests would come back with his prognosis. It was difficult celebrating Theresa’s life with her family and grandchildren, while watching for a text message that would give the doctor’s verdict.

As Theresa’s family gathered for her final journey from the altar to the hearse, I sat there mesmerized with the coffin, considering Paul’s impending diagnosis. Would the proverbial thumb go up or down? Would my beloved brother be starting a fight for his life?

While I’ve consoled many on such occasions, facing the threat of death, either personally or with someone as close as a brother, is so much more difficult. I’ve sat there myself in pre-op, about to undergo what my brother faced last week, thinking of how my family might cope should I not make it. The reality of the threat of death is palpable, and a great leveller.

As I reflect on the past few weeks, there are two perspectives that I believe we all face . . . sometime or another.

The first comes from looking at the situation from the immediate, human perspective. I love my brother and I’m anxious about how long I’ll have him around.  We’ve been best mates since birth, with us only being born 14 months apart. We’ve lived our lives together and I want that to continue until we’re two grumpy old men sitting on a bench seat watching our great grand kids making cubbies, or billy-carts, just like we did.

With an uncertain future hanging over our heads, the build up of stress is almost too much at times. In a state of panic we all want the issue fixed immediately, but that’s not how the process has to work. Patience is drained away as we sit with anticipation of a final report.

So, what can you do in these circumstances?

After the shock subsides, we look to prayer. When we received word of Paul’s cancer, Cornelia and I were 700 kilometres from home. All we could do was pray; and we had eight and a half hours ahead of us! Taking your situation to the Lord gives you an immediate peace, as you know the Creator is in the midst of the issue. Yes, you’re nervous, crying, scared, to name only a few of the emotions you feel, but the God who made us, is listening to your words.

The second action is to be strong. So often we read in the Bible of God being our Rock and our Salvation. For Christians, this is a time for us to shine as we bring a hope to the situation that we know many don’t have. There’s nothing like positive people, who look with hope to the future, to settle a difficult personal situation.

When Cornelia and I arrived home and met with my extended family it was a good time to remind everyone that when you’re going through the fog of despair and pain, the best place to get help is to look up. God, our Father, will hear our prayers and walk the journey ahead with us.

The second perspective relates to what happens after our time on earth comes to a close. As a believer in Jesus Christ this is the most worrisome, because I know many do not have a relationship with their Saviour and, without it, they will not enter into the presence of God.

When I think of heaven I see a place where my family and friends reside with me for eternity. I’m sure you can see yours there too. But the reality is that not everyone will be there. I can’t guess who will or won’t, and it’s not my place to play judge and jury, but as I get older I’m acutely aware of this fact. At times it plays heavily on my heart, to the point where I just want to grab people and ‘make them’ believe. But I can‘t and I won’t.

What is needed is to behave like Christ in these situations. We need to show compassion, empathise with people in their crisis, and bring to people’s attention the eternal hope we have in Jesus Christ. It’s not easy, and many times people will see us as some form of religious nut, but many will also see that our faith is real.

In the account of Jesus bringing Lazarus back to life we see that the power of this miracle was more than the resurrection event. The impact Jesus had on the people was profound because they witnessed Jesus not panicking.

“When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. Yet when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days.” John 11:4-5 NIV

Jesus was confident in the outcome and shared with others that God would be glorified through the event. This confidence in placing the situation in God’s hands is what led many people to draw closer to God in faith.

“Therefore many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary, and had seen what Jesus did (raising Lazarus from the dead), put their faith in him.” John 11:45 NIV (emphasis added)

After the initial shock has subsided, and we’ve recovered from the emotional strain, we have yet another opportunity to demonstrate some of Christ’s qualities to our families and friends.

In recent days we’ve learnt that Paul’s cancer is contained and that he will make a full recovery, with some necessary changes to his lifestyle. The prayers of many from around the world have been covering him, and for that Cornelia and I are grateful.

Peter